some people should not be allowed to procreate

Every once in awhile when I need a good laugh, I pull out my "crazy names" list that my best friend Carrie (whom I give most credit to) & I accumulated while working at a children's hospital in Salt Lake City, UT.

The majority of these made the list because of stupid spellings. Don't even get me going on the beauty of adding a silent 'H' to everyone's name. My friend is no longer 'Jill' she's now 'Jhyll', I mean, why not? You'll also note that 'X', Q', and 'Z' can take on whatever sound you'd like them to. I don't know if it's a Utah thing (I'm sure it is, some white Mormons have to give their children a separate identity somehow, heaven forbid we let them dye their hair blue or something less permanent). This is a mere spattling of what has come through the hospital over the years.

Hope you enjoy,

Mheriahnne(all silent H’s of course)

Boys

Branigan

Nestor (future playground nickname: pester, fester, molester)

Asa (like Asia)

Dimple (future playground nickname: dimple the pimple)

Kenly

Marqus

Kenyatta (sounds like a car model, who doesn’t want to drive the new Mazda Kenyatta)

Astchyn

Caidgen

Mycal

Jazmon

Kieler (future playground nickname: Kieler the liar, or if it’s pronounced wrong he could be Keiler the feeler)

Jessami

Irelynd

Kyltan (Kyltan and Bits anyone?)

Jordin

Tryler (“Bobby Rae, get your lil’ arss over here and get in the Tryler”)

Alighia (looks like a name of a severe rash but it’s supposedly pronounced ‘Elijah’)

Starson

Jaz

Zakarey

Deseret Sage

Jaisean

Izik

Ramsey

Naythan

Justus

Jaxon

Jakup

Jaymz

Sparticus (why not give your child a proper pro-wrestling name?)

Xaqurey (product of an illiterate teenager who got knocked-up. Pronounced Zackary)

Tanyon

Daykota

Darvan

Ajax (wonder if his brother is Comet, Pine-sol, or Windex)

Orange Peel (swear on my grandmother’s grave, this kid is for real)

Girls

Rainbow (My friend is actually related to this one, her parents have some developmental issues)

Brikenna

Kawlie

Paecen

Mahdisen

Alinie

Cheyne (I think this is suppose to be Cheyenne, but it could be Shane)

Tunicquea (white girl)

Aaliyah

Belladonna

Chaunacey

Brooque

Tayzia

Jewelee Ruby

Raevynne

Kyairah (suppose to sound like Kira)

Trintdee

Phuc (yep….like the king of all swear words)

Timberly (need I comment on the playground names for this one?)

Brookee

Mirlexzy

Tylaann

Sweet Peaches (not even kidding, it’s a real name. She should marry Orange Peel)

Chlamydia (why not? STD’s are the up and coming rage as far as baby names go)

Syerrah

Chedeline (isn’t that what you call poo stuck to a cows butt?)

Kyanne

Nicoya (I think I heard this on a cough drop commercial “Niiiiiicoooooooyyyyaaaa”)

Unknown Genders

Timber (this could be the masculine version of Timberly, I’m not sure what grammatical rules we’re following these days)

Juddie Rae